Ghost Ranch

It’s my private mountain, God told me if I painted it often enough I could have it.

Dear Georgia,

I have been thinking about the wisdom of the phrase “keep coming back”, which I think is the message of your quote above. A sense of endurance and vision, without any guarantees but some kind of heart wisdom pulsing the truth. (Keep going.) Keep showing up. Keep on.

(You made that mountain yours by painting it)

When I was a little girl my father bought a mountain, which was auspiciously named Peter Mountain (my father’s name). He must have thought that mountain was destined for him too. And indeed it was. My father was like you. (artist capable of magic)

I’m realizing that doing anything in my life takes some kind of intention. I don’t even really have to believe that it is possible, I just have to know that I want to do it and why and then just keep coming back to that whenever I stray. When I was 22 I decided to do a semester abroad in Paris in the Spring. As soon as I decided and started looking at my options I found that I could go to Greece in the Spring, or Paris in the Fall, or Nice in the Spring, or Rome in the Summer. I considered each option and maybe I would have had a wonderful time going to any of these places, but I knew that I had a date with Paris in the Spring. So it became my kind of mantra: Paris in the Spring, Paris in the Spring, Paris in the Spring…

I see my husband doing the same thing now with our upcoming trip to Croatia, which is really his trip to Croatia that I am lucky enough to be a part of. His very cells are singing Croatia in September, Croatia in September…

Intention is important to my meditation practice lately. I sit down to rest, feel my body, relax my mind and pretty soon I am writing my next blog post, or finally making that point to my husband, or worrying over something that happened at work. My teachers in the Shambhala tradition tell me that’s ok. That is what our minds are trained to do (sort things out, find patterns, avoid danger) and all I have to do is realize I’ve strayed and come back…with gentleness, like training a puppy/come back to my intention. It’s not always easy but it is simple.

You are my mountain now, Georgia. If I conjure you often enough, will I be able to live you for a day? What will be the parts of you that become me? (flesh become flesh) (bread into fishes)