The Middle

the middle

I am working on creating a timeline for how I will get from [here] to [filming a short film about Marilyn] and I find myself staring into the middle. How do I travel from inspiration to fruition?

When Norma Jean Baker was renamed Marilyn, she gave up having a middle name. At the beginning Marilyn, at the end Monroe. Ba-boom. Truth is, I spend much of my time mucking around in the middle. Here I am sending you this note from the middle.

Part of the reason I want to create an unscripted short film as the end result of this project, is that I want to explore Marilyn’s middle place. When she was alone. Those moments when she was somewhere in-between, by herself in her own space. So much of life is made up of this space when nothing much is happening. I’m starting to feel that these moments are as important as those moments when SOMETHING is happening, otherwise I would need to “just get through” about 95% of my life.

In the last two years, I have discovered that life can be over in a flash. All the fire and burn of trying to be something when I grow up collapsed into this realization that I am already here and it could be over at anytime. A small voice says “don’t forget that this is life, the brushing your teeth, the walking the dog, the calling a friend for no reason but to say hi.”

But part of me still cries, there must be something else! Where is the big payoff? It can’t be just about brushing my teeth and breathing. I just want the instruction manual to Alice. The one that says “Here is Alice, here is what she is meant to do in this life, and here is how you take care of her.”

But I don’t have the manual. What do I have? a heart and some wisdom and second chances. Courage to make mistakes. And lots and lots of middle time.

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